S1E2 Trance Pondering my Orb

In this episode, our unflappable crew runs into a harrowing charcuterie of enemies, friends and frenemies all *freaking obsessed* with something called a “trance ponder”. Also we learn the recipe for Degreaser. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_10 0:08

All right. That will cue the music. Welcome to this week's episode of Colossus at the Crux, a never fear campaign presented by the Witch He March. I'm Ian, your GM, and joining me around the table are Hi, I'm Bree Drennan.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

I play Glitch the Ship's Mechanic.

SPEAKER_06 1:15

Tabitha.

SPEAKER_04 1:17

Sorry I'm Drennan, I play Tabitha.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

I'm Garrett, I play uh Tegan St. James of Ship Pilot.

SPEAKER_11 1:35

I'm Eugene, I play Qualo, and my pajamas are made out of salami.

SPEAKER_10 1:42

I for the listeners, there was no buildup to that whatsoever. That's not an inside joke.

SPEAKER_05 1:49

I don't straight into salami pants.

SPEAKER_07 1:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:53

If you know, you know.

SPEAKER_10 1:55

So, um, last episode, you all were taking Propus Fox, your boss, to the oyster tub because it looked like he was going to get picked up by the Crocksport Authority. And at this point you're not sure why. You had brought in scrap and you're on Dock Station Theta, the dock station where you guys uh work out of. So we're gonna open it with you all heading toward the oyster tub. And so to get to the oyster tub, you're gonna have to pass through um a bazaar of sorts. So one of the rings of the station uh are just businesses of all types. Uh Clutch, what is uh one of your favorite businesses here on Dox Station Tata?

SPEAKER_00 2:45

As a scrapper, honestly, my favorite business is the nobody needs it.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

It's a flea market style intent wedged between a couple other businesses, taking up just a gap of space with a whole bunch of junk that nobody needs, where somehow I always seem to find the perfect thing for the ship.

SPEAKER_06 3:09

Oh right. Awesome. And you capitalize?

SPEAKER_04 3:13

My favorite business is the nail salon. There's like a lot of hot gas that goes down over there, and I get a beautiful many petty at the same time.

SPEAKER_10 3:27

Do they have a seat that's large enough for you, or do you have to like double seat it?

SPEAKER_04 3:31

Oh, I just like I just sit on the floor. I'm big enough to where like you just sit it on the floor, you know. I still reach the counter alright.

SPEAKER_10 3:39

Okay. Awesome. Uh Tegan?

SPEAKER_05 3:42

Uh Teegan's favorite little shop here is Olivia's Dance Emporium. Uh it's a dance salon. Uh it the most of the crew and his close friends don't know that he goes there late at night and uh uh cuts a rug in his uh corduroy jorts.

SPEAKER_10 4:00

That is a terrible thing to have to picture.

SPEAKER_05 4:03

Uh boy, nobody knows about it.

SPEAKER_10 4:05

And then Qualo.

SPEAKER_11 4:07

My favorite place in the Donut is the Tower of Artifice. Hmm. Yes, can you tell us a little bit about the Tower of the Artifice in Dockstation Theta? I sure can. It's a five-sided pyramid. Uh, and it's kind of tall and skinny. It looks a bit like an obelisk and it sticks out. You can see it from pretty far away. It's completely chopped full of booths and stalls containing, you know, exotic and uh unique and bespoke kind of goods and knowledge and services. The sort of stuff that has no price. It's the the sort of stuff, you know, that that you just have to go to extremes to get. The tower is covered in entrances of all types and shapes and sizes. Every single one is is locked, and no one can enter the tower without unlocking a door. But the locks aren't all mechanical. They're locks of all sorts. Some can be picked, and some can be unscrampled, and some only open by sharing secrets or body parts.

SPEAKER_10 5:01

This is like the salami pants thing, I didn't see that last part coming. So you all uh passed your establishments. Uh is anyone going to try to make any stops, or are you trying to get propus to the oyster tub as quickly as possible?

SPEAKER_05 5:16

I'm definitely not stopping.

SPEAKER_04 5:18

Yeah, same. I feel like we need to get him to safety as soon as possible.

SPEAKER_10 5:22

Uh so propus fox is going to uh did you unlasso him or is he still lasso'ed? Unlasso'd him. You unlassoed him. But you're still like you guys are like shoving him along, and he's like, What's going on?

SPEAKER_09 5:35

Why are you guys doing this? You guys are always shoving me. Stop shoving me.

SPEAKER_05 5:40

Look, we're just trying to get someplace that's uh out of the out of the public ear. You know, we can go down to the bar, we can have a drink, we can talk about what's going on, and why there's CPA crawling all over your shop.

SPEAKER_09 5:52

DPA, that doesn't make any sense. Stop shoving me.

SPEAKER_05 5:56

Okay, fine, I'll stop shoving you. Just keep walking.

SPEAKER_10 5:59

Okay. When you like let him go, he like hurumps and he adjusts his uh jacket, which is uh a leather jacket that looks like he should have thrown it away decades ago, but he just wears it absolutely everywhere. Um it's got like if you know where to look, it's got like grease stains and chili spots and and everything. Alright, so you guys get to the uh the oyster tub. Tegan, can you describe the oyster tub for us?

SPEAKER_05 6:26

Yeah, so the oyster tub is uh kind of a dockside bar filled with you know roughnecks and narrowells, and uh the the bartender knows that clientele pretty well, so there's you know hidden little spots, uh so you can have like private conversations. There's a big central area where people are constantly having like gambling games of cards and dice and things. Uh there's a small like player piano tucked away that's covered in ear stains and old, you know, burn marks from cigars and things like that. Uh it's actually in a basement, and uh the shop above it is uh somebody else, take that one.

SPEAKER_10 7:09

What's a shop above it? Um I was reading something on the screen. Alright, so I was reading something on the screen. Uh they sell stationary. I was reading something.

SPEAKER_05 7:24

Yeah, okay. So yeah, it's a stationary. Stationary store that's got nice, you know, pens and things like that. And then you go down and it's a roughneck bar.

SPEAKER_10 7:35

Yeah. So it's way too nice of a stationary store uh called I was reading something on the screen uh above uh yeah, this nasty bar. And uh there are holes in the ceiling that you can like see into uh the like bullet holes that you can see into the nice stationary store. Nice. So you guys get in there, uh the bartender, Jeremy, who is a human, that uh hit one of his arms is replaced with a clank arm, is going to like wave at you guys and say from the bar, F, first drinks free.

SPEAKER_05 8:11

I immediately look around like something's wrong. Like, is he under duress? Is like somebody got a gun pointed at him or something?

SPEAKER_10 8:18

No. He looks happy to see you guys.

SPEAKER_05 8:21

Oh. Alright, thanks. Uh uh take us to like uh one of the little tables in the corner. Okay, get us some drinks. I'll be like, uh what do you got? What do you what do you guys want?

SPEAKER_11 8:32

When Tegan starts to stand up to get the drinks, uh, Qualo appears with a notepad in his hand and says, Can I take your order? Uh uh.

SPEAKER_05 8:42

Okay, sure, you can get the drinks this time. Uh didn't want to. I really want to, anyways. It's not like it makes me feel important or anything. And I sit down at the table. Oh, give me a shot of degreaser.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Coffee, black, and sugar, but none of those packets just bring me the whole canister.

SPEAKER_04 9:01

Oh uh, a mimosa in this economy?

SPEAKER_10 9:08

Okay. I wonder what a dive bar's mimosa would be like.

SPEAKER_04 9:16

That's why I figured it would be great.

SPEAKER_05 9:18

It's it's tang mixed with beer. It's got it's it's nothing like grapefruit peels just in a glass.

SPEAKER_10 9:25

Yeah, when when when Qualo gets to the bar, uh you hear in this economy? Uh through the through the bar. Okay, cool. So propus is like, no one got my order.

SPEAKER_09 9:39

Why are you and you guys are shoving me around? And I'm supposed to be in my place of business. Well, which what are we doing here? I don't understand.

SPEAKER_05 9:49

Uh look, uh, you're right. We didn't get you a drink. Uh and I like motion at the poalow. And I'm like, uh, we get one uh what do you what do you want?

SPEAKER_09 10:03

What what do I want?

SPEAKER_05 10:05

Yeah, yeah. What do you want?

SPEAKER_09 10:07

I don't really want anything right now. I'm not that thirsty.

SPEAKER_05 10:10

Okay, can can we have one uh beer in a fuck sippy cup?

SPEAKER_09 10:15

Why'd you say a sippy cup? Are you making fun of me?

SPEAKER_05 10:18

Okay, see look, we came by, we just got back. Alright, one, we wouldn't get paid. Two, why is the the why why is your shop covered in CPA? Well, he looks sheepish.

SPEAKER_09 10:32

They might be there because I kind of maybe just a little bit stole from them, sorta.

SPEAKER_10 10:38

What'd you steal?

SPEAKER_09 10:39

Wouldn't you like to know?

SPEAKER_10 10:41

But then he opens his jacket uh and he places an object on the table. Uh Glitch, you as the ship's mechanic would recognize this uh immediately as what's supposed to be a transponder, which is a device that almost every ship has that allows their Navidreamer to communicate with other Navidreamers. And it also is used as like a tracking device for where ships are out in the Imperion by tracking the locations of the Navidreamers. The thing that's interesting about this transponder is that it seems to be cut cleanly in half, and it's just one half of the transponder. And when I say cut cleanly, I mean perfectly shorn in half. So there's no it's not jagged in any way, it doesn't look broken, it looks like impossibly clean cut all the way through.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Holy fluxing sea sky. Where did you get this? This is you don't find these outside of ships, much less floating around bars and theta.

SPEAKER_09 11:50

Well, so I saw the void boys had brought back part of a ship, the back half specifically. It was cut clean, clean down the down the middle. Well, I don't know how the other half looked, they only brought in one half, but the half they brought in looked pretty clean cut anyway. They were uh talking with somebody on the docks, this uh person clad in black, and when they saw that they had this half of transponder, they pushed over a whole chest of gold. You know how much money a chest of gold's worth?

SPEAKER_05 12:23

Uh at least 10 bags.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Yeah, it's worth a chest of gold, but that's the I I'm anyway.

SPEAKER_09 12:34

I there was a bunch of no, you go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

I'm sorry. This is a this isn't a transponder. This is half a transponder. You get that, right? This isn't normal. You can't cut these. They're triple shielded, they're self-shielding, they're they're meltdown fail-safe. This isn't sabotage, this is surgery.

SPEAKER_09 13:04

Anyway, I'm not an expert in all that, that's why I have you guys. But I saw that it was worth he saw that it was worth a chest of gold, and then somebody brought Gribblins onto the station. There was a panic. And uh, while they were trying to to burn those little bastards down with fire, uh, in the confusion, I ran over and I grabbed this and ran off. Well, trotted. You know, I don't really run anymore, not since the accident. But uh anyway, and then I was on my way back, you know, whistling, having a good time, thinking about getting a chance to go for this thing. And then you guys captured me and kept me from making a bunch of money and started making fun of me.

SPEAKER_05 13:46

So less, if they catch you with this, uh what do you think's gonna happen?

SPEAKER_09 13:54

Well, they're not gonna catch me because we're gonna sell it first.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Well, we're not gonna sell it in this state.

SPEAKER_05 14:01

In this economy?

SPEAKER_01 14:02

It's half a you can barely see Glitch rolling her eyes behind her tinted goggles. Her hands are just sort of trembling and lovingly stroking the object. Yeah, I mean, you got a lot of money here, but not in this state. Right now, you've just got a big price tag on your head walking around with this thing.

SPEAKER_10 14:32

At this point, Koalo, you're gonna return with the drakes. Did you get Propus Fox beer in a sippy cup?

SPEAKER_11 14:38

I got him two large mugs of ale. Nice!

SPEAKER_09 14:43

See, this is what I'm talking about. This this this thing creature here respects me. Thank you, kind creature with gold eyes.

SPEAKER_11 14:51

Emotions at Kualo.

SPEAKER_09 14:52

Alright, now get away from the table. We're talking.

SPEAKER_11 14:55

Hey, uh, I have a name, you know.

SPEAKER_09 14:58

I I mean, I called you kind creature.

SPEAKER_11 15:01

Oh, no, I'm already walking away.

SPEAKER_09 15:03

Uh anyway.

SPEAKER_11 15:04

I start serving drinks to the other tables.

SPEAKER_05 15:07

I just keep looking at Qualo, like, what the hell is he? Is this a bit? Uh but I'm I'm letting it ride for now. Uh alright, look, Propus, look, if they catch you with this thing, and obviously they're already on to you because they're casing your shop, uh, and they're inside as well. We saw them like rooting around for stuff. You know they can take the ship, right? Like, they can seize it. And then we're all out of jobs. So you can see our concern here. His eyes go wide.

SPEAKER_09 15:36

No, they can't take the ship. That's expensive and mine.

SPEAKER_10 15:44

Uh, so he turns to you, Glitch.

SPEAKER_09 15:47

You said that it can't sell it in this state. Well, what kind of state could what can we sell it in?

SPEAKER_01 15:53

In a state where it has the other half? It's gonna take some major engineering. I this one is beyond me. So, Glitch, he grabs you by the cheeks.

SPEAKER_09 16:04

You're a genius. Because obviously, what they wanted wasn't this transponder, but whatever this transponder transponds to. And if half a transponder is worth one chest of gold, then a whole transponder is worth He does math on his fingers. You see him like carry the well, it's gotta be worth two chests of gold, and then whatever it goes to, well, that's gotta be worth two and a half at least. So, if we can get this thing fixed, then we could take her ship to go get whatever it's transponding to, and then come back, and we'll be so rich that I'll never have to work again.

SPEAKER_05 16:46

Don't really work now. Do you say that loud enough for him to hear? Yeah, I mean, we're the ones out there doing all of this.

SPEAKER_09 16:53

Hey! Hey! Don't talk to me like that. I'm your boss. Stop, you can't disrespect me, you're disrespecting me.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Propus glitches rubbing her cheeks and cringing back in her chair. Your uh deductive abilities really are are without precedent. But yes, one thing at a time, we need to get this fixed before you can collect any gold for it and keep your head.

SPEAKER_09 17:20

Well, of course my deductive abilities are good. How do you think I became the sixth highest grossing fine salvage salesman in Northeast Dock Station Theta?

SPEAKER_05 17:30

So you you So you took this off the Void Boys. Uh who was the people that were paying them? Was it like why is the CPA looking for this? It's not like them and the Void Boys get along well together.

SPEAKER_09 17:44

No, I don't know. Like I said, the person who was offering to buy it off of was this was this individual in in black clothing. I I didn't get a good look at him. What on account of how clandestine they were trying to be.

SPEAKER_05 17:57

Well then the CPA is tied up in this somehow. Alright. Glitch, you know anybody that could get this trans transponder fixed, or at least get something out of it.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

No, I know one somebody who can get this fixed, and it's gonna cost us more than gold.

SPEAKER_10 18:18

Uh indeed. So, you know that there is an infamous pirate artificer who lives deep in the unclaimed cargo ring of the ship, the junkyard area between the docks and the rest of the ship or dock station proper. And uh it is a goblin named Clampweasel.

SPEAKER_04 18:42

What a name.

SPEAKER_10 18:46

But the part of his personality that stands out most to most people, because he makes sure that it's the thing that everybody knows first and foremost about him, is that he is a raging alcoholic. Anyway, you guys can do what you want with that information.

SPEAKER_05 19:01

Oh, not Glampweasel. Guy's the worst. He keeps throwing up on my shoes every time we talk to him.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Yeah, he's a wiry pit hole of a grease-stained goblin, but he's also the only the only person I know with the capability to fix this. Sounds like we're going to scrippity scraps, who's up for a field trip.

SPEAKER_05 19:23

Alright. Uh listen, propus, what are you gonna do while we're going? I mean, you probably don't want to come that deep in there, but uh if you get found out, we we gotta we gotta find you someplace safe to lay low.

SPEAKER_09 19:37

Well, yeah, I was probably just gonna stay here and keep drinking tankards of ale.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Yes, um stay at the void boys favorite hang. That sounds like a great idea.

SPEAKER_10 19:46

Uh his brow froze.

SPEAKER_09 19:47

Sounds like you're making fun of me. I know this is their their favorite hang. Of course I wouldn't stay here. I was obviously going someplace else. If you guys, where would you guys go? If you were going somewhere. I'm just asking, I'm curious.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

Uh the nail salon?

SPEAKER_09 20:06

The nail salon? Are you making fun of me? Are you saying I've got bad nails?

SPEAKER_11 20:11

Oh, is that the hot new bar with with the alcohol that that is like a like like uh like paint stripper? I've heard good things about that place.

SPEAKER_04 20:22

I do love a good paint stripper.

SPEAKER_11 20:24

Are you talking like saying a nail bar?

SPEAKER_09 20:29

Uh I mean, I've obviously heard of that place too, so that's where I'll be because that was my idea is to go to the nail bar, drink paint center, or whatever you said.

SPEAKER_10 20:39

Okay, also, uh he slides uh over um one gold coin over to Qualo.

SPEAKER_09 20:49

He's like, keep the change.

SPEAKER_11 20:52

Wait a minute. Um just looking at everyone's clothes around this table, you're obviously the boss, and uh where I come from, good bosses pay for drinks. So that's that's a handful, sir.

SPEAKER_10 21:06

Yeah, but where I'm from, the best bosses and he gets up and runs out of the bar.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

Didn't the bartender buy us the drinks? Yep.

SPEAKER_10 21:19

He did. Okay. So do you guys uh make any stops on your way to Clamp Weasels?

SPEAKER_11 21:26

Um, before we leave the well, before they leave the bar, I get a growler of whatever the strongest concoction is here. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 21:37

So uh yes, as Tegan mentioned that one of the drinks that the oyster tub is famous for, besides the oyster tub, uh is the degreaser, which is a shot of actually uh Tegan, what is the degreaser?

SPEAKER_05 21:53

Uh it's like bathtub moonshine, uh flavored with a little bit of peppermint.

SPEAKER_10 22:04

That oil is essential. Um you guys remember that like next time you're gonna have to get the oyster tub when you're back at the oyster tub. But uh Yeah, uh do you guys want to do anything before you go to clamweasels?

SPEAKER_01 22:25

I don't have any clams. Not carrying that transponder, I don't.

SPEAKER_11 22:30

Wallap uh I just have a delivery to make. Okay. Yeah. Of alcohol to clampweasels.

SPEAKER_10 22:38

Uh okay, okay. Um so you guys will be headed to clampweasels, and you've gotta make your way back to the bazaar. As you all happen to mention, this bar, the oyster tub, is uh one of the haunts for the void boys. So as you guys are coming out, you'll see that there are void boys that are pulling up on um scooters, razor style scooters, because that's what they that's the like vehicle of their gang.

SPEAKER_05 23:13

That's how they roll on razor scooters.

SPEAKER_10 23:15

Yeah, that's how they roll. Okay. So what do do you guys confront them or do you try to sneak around them?

SPEAKER_05 23:28

Uh I've got no problems confront- they don't know anything about us right now as far as this whole thing goes.

SPEAKER_10 23:34

So They do know you work for Propus Fox.

SPEAKER_05 23:37

Yep, they know that.

SPEAKER_10 23:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 23:39

I'm okay with kind of being, you know, walking out proud.

SPEAKER_10 23:44

Okay. Uh, you guys do indeed walk out proud. Jeremy, the bar owner, will be like, give him hell uh as you guys walk out. Um but you're not sure what he's referring to, right? He goes back to cleaning a glass and you know, mopping vomit. And so you guys walk out, and the leader of the Void Boys is a guy you are all familiar with named Grim Gregg. He is a uh also a human. He's uh shorter in stature, but like broad, and he's got like a gnarly scar that runs over one of his eyes. Um he looks pretty menacing for a I don't know, human on a weird alien space station. Uh and he's flanked by six other guys, and they all ride up on their scooters at the same time, and then like do that thing where they turn all at once to stop. Uh yeah. Give a little skirt as they uh pull up next to you guys. Um but Grim Greg's gonna be like, you seen Propus Fox?

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Nope, we've been doing our best to avoid him.

SPEAKER_05 24:54

No, I haven't seen him yet.

SPEAKER_10 24:55

So you guys start talking over each other. Uh I need one of you to give me a oh damn it, what is this game's version of uh what was it? Yes, thank you so much. Can I get a present check from one of you?

SPEAKER_06 25:16

Uh I mean I'll I'll do it.

SPEAKER_05 25:18

Um I don't really have any experiences or anything that's gonna help out with this. Glitch, are you doing anything to help me?

SPEAKER_01 25:24

I mean, have you met me? I wouldn't exactly call me charming. No. It can be uh none of my I I can intimidate the ship into working, but I'm not sure I can help you here.

SPEAKER_06 25:41

I think all on your own.

SPEAKER_05 25:46

Yeah, I'll I'll roll it straight. Uh I'm okay with that. We'll see how this goes.

SPEAKER_10 25:53

Well the good news is you gotta hope. The bad news is like, you guys are full of shit. You do know where propis is. And if you're lying about knowing where propus is, then you must know why we're looking for him. And so that means he looks confused for a second, and uh one of his guys leans over and is like whispers in his ear, and he's like, Oh yeah, that means we gotta beat your asses to get the information out of you. You can try.

SPEAKER_05 26:26

I don't think you'll make it.

SPEAKER_04 26:30

I like I stand up as tall and as straight as I can, and I start like cracking my knuckles.

SPEAKER_10 26:37

Okay. Uh well they are going to make the first move because you're showily cracking your knuckles.

SPEAKER_11 26:47

And uh Hey everybody? Yes. Uh remember you got a free hope at the start of the session. Nice.

SPEAKER_10 26:55

Kuala, why did they get a free hope at the start of the session?

SPEAKER_11 26:58

Because I'm half gnome. Half half-length. Half half-length. I totally know what I am.

SPEAKER_05 27:10

I am absolutely a quarter half on my mom's side.

SPEAKER_10 27:14

My great grandfather was a gnome princess. Um so good news, bad news. Um, so they're gonna rush Tegan, who I, in my mind's eye, was standing out in front of everyone. And uh they're going to uh charge you the five guys that were around Grim Grig. And they all whip out these like collapsible patons. Okay. And uh doop boop, boop, boop, boop. Uh 16 hit your evasion.

SPEAKER_05 27:47

Ooh, it sure do.

SPEAKER_10 27:49

It sure do. They're going to do five or ten physical damage as they just all surround you and start clubbing you.

SPEAKER_04 27:57

Can I do the I am your shield ability here?

SPEAKER_10 28:02

Uh read it. What does it do?

SPEAKER_04 28:04

Uh, when an ally within very close range would take damage, you can mark a stress to stand in the way and make yourself the target of the attack instead. When you take damage from this attack, you can mark any number of armor slots.

SPEAKER_10 28:17

Yeah, sounds great.

SPEAKER_05 28:20

Thank you.

SPEAKER_10 28:22

Don't forget to mark the stress, and then uh what wound would 10 damage be for you?

SPEAKER_05 28:27

Uh that would have been a major for me. Oh, I'm sorry, you meant Tapitha, my bad. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 28:32

So that would be minor for me, because if I'm reading, it's like uh the threshold for minor is nine? Or wait, would it be major then?

SPEAKER_10 28:42

Yes. If you're if your uh first threshold is nine, then it would be major. And then you can spend uh one armor slot to turn it to minor and two armor slots to get rid of it completely.

SPEAKER_04 28:52

Uh yeah, I'll do two armor slots to completely negate it.

SPEAKER_10 28:57

So you jump in the way as they're like trying to baton beacon down, and they just start whacking uselessly at your chest. You can't stop us forever.

SPEAKER_09 29:06

We're gonna get that information.

SPEAKER_10 29:11

Uh uh, what are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_05 29:15

Uh, when that happens and Tabitha jumps in front of me, I want to slip off to the side, pull the little bub lasso off. And I want to try to lasso uh hopefully all of these guys, but I'll get to that.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

All of them? How many are there?

SPEAKER_05 29:30

If I can!

SPEAKER_10 29:31

How many are there? There's uh six of these low-ranking guys that had some flanking from Greg and then ran up and started whacking you.

SPEAKER_11 29:40

Hey, uh, can I get in on this?

SPEAKER_05 29:43

If you want to, how do you want to get in on this?

SPEAKER_11 29:45

So I'm gonna spend three hopes. Ooh! So that we can do a combined action thingy. Uh a tag team roll? Yeah, that is certainly what I said. Um I'm gonna whip out my Escrima sticks, and I noticed that a couple of them are uh like a little bit too far apart for you to get your lasso around them. So I'm gonna throw the sticks at them to to basically hit them and like force them into closer together so that the lasso goes around them more easily. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 30:18

Uh I am gonna wild. Uh try to make this lasso attack here, and I'd like to use my uh Campfire Cowboy experience if you if that's uh acceptable.

SPEAKER_10 30:29

I mean your lasso one.

SPEAKER_05 30:30

I'm a lasso one. I add two to that roll. Okay. Give me an 18 with hope. 19 with hope.

SPEAKER_10 30:41

Alright, which which of those rolls do you want to use?

SPEAKER_05 30:44

Let's take the 19 with hope.

SPEAKER_10 30:48

Uh, and then both of you guys pull your damage.

SPEAKER_05 30:50

So when I do that, I also want to use my my unique hope feature from being a ranger called hold them off. Uh, and I spend three hope when I succeed in an attack with a weapon to use that same role against two additional adversaries within range of the attack. That's where I'm trying to like rope them all together at once.

SPEAKER_10 31:08

Yep. Sounds good. I got a four. I got five. Okay. How does this play out? Okay, so uh you both uh run in the escreama sticks and then you knock uh two of the guys over. Um and Tegan, you throw your lasso around them. Um the force of them being lasso'ed together after being crunched with the Eskrama stick attack clenches all six of them together such that their heads all like uh buckle together. Like Newton's cradle style, where like one guy's head, another guy's head hits another guy's head, and you guys in this lasso maneuver knock all six hedgemen unconscious.

SPEAKER_05 31:59

Uh I look up at Green Brig, I'm like, what else you got?

SPEAKER_10 32:02

It it's still you guys' uh it's still you guys' spotlight. Uh Tabitha or Glitch?

SPEAKER_01 32:08

I'm hovering um Sorry, Tabitha. Go ahead. Okay. Uh Glitch is hovering in the back, being that she currently has the Trans Ponder tucked into her cloak. And I'm gonna take an unleash chaos spellcasting role at Grim Greg directly. Uh, adding one of my tokens for an extra uh 1D10 magic. Let's see if this baby hits. Reaching out a hand, uh, you see the Essentia run down her arm and start to gather in the palm. And that is an 18 with hope.

SPEAKER_08 32:47

Nice.

SPEAKER_10 32:47

Uh, roll me that damage.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Five.

SPEAKER_10 32:51

Five damage. Uh it it blasts him. You see it like scuffs his cheek, and like just the tiniest bit of blood like runs down from a cut in his cheek. And he's like, that's not the last you'll hear of me. I'm Grim Greg! And then he'll hop on his scooter. Uh I'll spend a fear uh that he's going to uh scoot into off into like a crowd. And uh as he does, like you can see a lot of people are like being pushed out of the way, and they're like, God damn it, people on scooters so inconsiderate. But uh he's leaving them half charged laying everywhere. But yeah, he's gonna shout out of the crowd like, I know you guys have it, I'm gonna get it from you.

SPEAKER_05 33:39

You were gonna regret crossing Grim Greg again. Keep on scooting. Get out of here. What are we gonna do with these six guys? Uh we're gonna leave them.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Gonna leave them.

SPEAKER_11 33:53

Um We're not leaving the scooters though, right? I as I hop on a scooter.

SPEAKER_05 33:59

I like where your head's at. Uh while we get the scooters together, I'm gonna take the lasso off of them. And since they're all unconscious, I'm gonna put them like they're all cuddling together.

SPEAKER_04 34:08

Oh wait, do they have any handfuls of gold on them? You're gonna rob them?

SPEAKER_05 34:14

I'm not gonna stop her or anything. I'll be like, oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, rifle through their pockets. Oh, look, this one looks real sweet.

SPEAKER_10 34:20

Somebody roll me a d4. Or no, actually, yeah, okay, somebody roll me a d4 and someone else roll me a d12.

SPEAKER_05 34:27

I'll take the d12 tablet of you with the d4.

SPEAKER_04 34:29

Okay, wait, hold on. How do I roll specific dice again? It's been forever since I've done that.

SPEAKER_05 34:39

Uh on the left hand side of roll 20, there should be like that uh little menu that's got the it looks like a d20 there. Yeah. And I got an eight on that d12 roll.

SPEAKER_10 34:49

I got a three on the d4. Okay, so you guys find three handfuls of gold between those guys. Rifling through their pockets. Nice. Um, and then one of them, uh tra like very neatly folded in his pocket is a woven net. Huh. Alright. Uh I'll take the net. Uh I'll I'll put the stats. You already have a lasso. Oh, okay. That's a good concept there.

SPEAKER_05 35:15

No, anybody else? Who else wants the net? I'll hand it over. Wallow, glitch? Anyone a fisherman? Officially? Or previously was a fish in another life? Maybe a butterfly. I'll take it if nobody wants it.

SPEAKER_10 35:32

And then uh we'll we'll discuss after the game who who got the three handfuls of gold or how you guys distributed that. Well, I I took the net so you guys can have the gold. That's fine.

SPEAKER_07 35:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 35:42

So each of you, other of you guys, uh put one more handful of gold on your sheet. Nice. Uh so you rifle through their pockets. Man, that's cold. Um they did was try to jump you guys uh in front of a bar. Yeah. Alright, so you guys scoot to clamp weasels? Yep.

SPEAKER_04 36:03

Well, I I'm too big for the scooters, so I'm just like loping behind them on all fours.

SPEAKER_10 36:08

Or a scooter under each foot. Yes. Scooter skates.

SPEAKER_04 36:15

Okay.

unknown 36:16

Nice.

SPEAKER_04 36:16

So they don't break underneath my weight.

SPEAKER_10 36:19

Uh, I mean, you could do two scooters under each foot, and then they're more like roller skates than roller blades. But uh, you know, in my head, you're definitely for scootering it.

unknown 36:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 36:36

Old tabby four scoots. Riding off into the junky sunset.

SPEAKER_10 36:43

So you guys uh head to Scrippity Scraps, which is Glamp Weasel's uh uh repair shop. So uh Glampweasel was among probably the most gifted artificers, uh, and he used to have a shop in the Tower of Artifice, but for reasons that he won't go into, uh he was forced to leave. And so now he runs a sad shop built into a mound of garbage in the unclaimed cargo area. Uh so as you guys pull up to the shop on your scooters, you can see that uh made from scrap is a sign that says scrippity scraps. Um there's a large two-door door, and then there are turrets mounted around the place. Some of them look like miniguns, some of them look like flamethrowers, and they all look like ramshackle construction. And as you guys roll up, you'll see that the turrets train on you, and then you'll hear a voice come from an intercom somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 37:47

Uh welcome to Glamp Weasels. Uh state your name and your purpose for being here at Glamp Weasels.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

It's me, Glitch. I've got a job for ya.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

Oh my god, Glitch! I haven't seen you since we partied together at the clam bucket.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Yeah, partying, that's exactly what I'd call that. Well, we're not here to improve your decor. Can we come in? I've got something you want to see.

unknown 38:16

I bet you do!

SPEAKER_10 38:18

Uh, and you'll hear gears turning and chains clinking as the doors automatically open. And you'll see inside the shop that uh if there's any sort of rhyme or reason to how things are set up here, it uh the system is beyond you. It looks like just like uh a hoarder's paradise. But in the back of the shop uh that's poorly lit and smells painfully of grease and alcohol, there is a very, very small goblin on a bicycle, and he's like pedaling it really fast, and he's pulling levers that are like hanging above his head, and as he pulls them, like doors open and lights come on, and he pulls another lever and a uh hand on like an accordion-style extending thing, I forget what those are called, uh, comes out and it's got a uh martini on it, and it just reaches out to you from next to the door. Uh, I say you, glitch, specifically.

SPEAKER_01 39:18

Uh not sure what to do with the hospitality, but I certainly have something you want. Glitch gingerly takes the martini from the clamp. Or wait, was this for me to bring to you?

SPEAKER_10 39:33

No, that's for you. It's it's a new thing I'm trying. It's a Mach 3 teeny.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Being pleasant with people, this really is a new move for you. Well, how about we try being pleasant with this? And Glitch whips out the transponder from under her cloak, or be half a transponder as it is, and holds it out.

SPEAKER_10 39:54

So from his spot on the bicycle where he's still pedaling, you'll see a uh set of goggles will come down over his eyes, and then a lens will slide in front of his right eye, and then another lens and another lens and another lens and another lens until there's like ten lenses telescoped off of one of his eyes. And when he sees it finally through the tenth lens, he says, Whoa! And he'll stop pedaling. Um, he's gonna hop down and head over to you guys, and as he does, the lenses will like come back off, and then the goggles will slide back up uh over the top of his head. Oh is this what I think it is?

SPEAKER_01 40:33

It's absolutely what you think it is. Well, half of what you think it is, which is probably obvious too.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Is is this the thing that propus swiped from the CPA? I'm not sure. It's fast.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

Glitch Glitch glares over her shoulder says, Well, yes, as Captain Obvious was saying, this may have belonged to Propus, but right now it's the thing that we need you to turn into the thing that works. And being that you're the least incompetent option we have in three systems, and our gold is good. Can you make it work?

SPEAKER_03 41:17

Well, I mean, if your gold is good, then your gold is good. But also, yes, I can make it work.

SPEAKER_10 41:23

Uh give me that. And he's gonna take it from you, uh, and he's going to start like pulling levers in other parts of the shop and turning cranks, and you'll see that a platform will come up out of the floor, and he sets the half the transponder on it, and he'll put some like lights on it, and he'll be like, What do we got here?

SPEAKER_03 41:44

What do we got here?

SPEAKER_10 41:44

Okay, uh, alright. And he's gonna bring over some other tools and like plug them in and hook belts onto like gear teeth, and then he starts like tugging other J's and he gets back on his bicycle and starts pedaling again.

SPEAKER_11 41:58

Um and you'll see that go ahead. When he goes to get back on the bicycle, uh he notices that I'm on it pedaling already. Okay. That's the spirit. Pushing random buttons and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_10 42:12

Whoa, don't do that. Uh you push a random button, and uh a uh weeded whiskey will spray into your uh I guess it would spray onto your chest. Oh. Where your mouth would be if you were a small goblin.

SPEAKER_11 42:26

Uh I I uh after I notice it, and then I grab my shirt and I start sucking on it. Hey, who's gonna stop you? Where I come from, its roots turned down hospitality.

SPEAKER_10 42:43

Uh, but yes, the the machine that he had set half the transponder on, um, two little like robotic arms are gonna come down with um knitting needles at the ends of them, and it's going to start knitting on the material, and you'll see as it knits very slowly, it starts to recreate the broken pieces of the transponder.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

Now, you said your You said your gold is uh is good, but we both know that the crew of the Ryzen is uh well I guess in in technical terms, broke as shit.

SPEAKER_05 43:19

And uh Propus Fox as I look at the guy who's drinking whiskey out of his his his own clothes, and I'm like, that's fair. Yeah, alright.

SPEAKER_02 43:31

And uh yeah, I I know Propus is terrible with money. There's no way that you guys can afford this, but maybe you could pay me.

SPEAKER_10 43:43

Uh for the listeners, uh, the Qualo player just stuck his shirt in his mouth and started sucking on it. Um being firmly in character. Uh that's good. So uh hey, uh check under your chair.

SPEAKER_11 43:58

Who, my That's where I put the growler with the booze in it. Oh, I thought you had a character.

SPEAKER_05 44:04

I'm like, is this Oprah? Holy shit. Under your chair.

SPEAKER_10 44:11

Uh one of you has a live beehive under your chair. Uh so he's going to reach under his chair. Uh, and he's going to find that growler. Alright. It's party time. He's going to uh drink from the growler.

SPEAKER_08 44:30

Oh! Is this degreaser? Yeah, uh, it's only the finest. It's uh ten parts moonshine, one one thousandth part essential peppermint oil. It'll make you breathe minty fire. It's uh it's like LaCroix, but moonshine.

SPEAKER_10 44:54

Also, if you if you own LaCroix, please don't sue us.

SPEAKER_11 44:57

Um yeah, he is going to if you own LaCroix, we're looking for a sponsor.

SPEAKER_05 45:08

And if you ever if you ever decide to make alcoholic peppermint LaCroix, we're here. Yeah we'll plug it.

SPEAKER_10 45:15

The whole the whole show becomes a uh what are those product placement LaCroix at the crux. Colossus of the LaCroix! That's it. That's the okay.

SPEAKER_05 45:32

This episode's brought to you by the smooth taste of alcoholic peppermint LaCroix.

SPEAKER_10 45:37

Well, the smooth smell, it doesn't really have a taste. But uh so he uh lets it get to work uh knitting, he drinks from the growler, and he says, uh, I got a small job for you to do that you could do to repay me for this.

SPEAKER_08 45:57

Um and uh it's real easy. I just need you to spy on somebody. And spy on him. Oh whatever.

SPEAKER_10 46:09

He's already like chugging the moonshine. Do you think you guys could do some spying for me?

SPEAKER_04 46:17

Who are we spying on?

SPEAKER_02 46:19

Uh it's it's a lady. She's new to the station. Uh I think her name is Ophelia. And that's the feed, just spying. Yep. Uh I need to know what what she's up to. She's uh I've seen her around the port several times. She's been making weird deals.

SPEAKER_10 46:38

I think this is supposed to be hers. Uh, he points to the uh half transponder.

SPEAKER_01 46:46

Oh, so all the more reason we should go near her.

SPEAKER_05 46:50

I mean, she might not know we're involved in this in any way, and I'm just glad he's not asking us to like go get feet picks from somebody or something. Did you say feet picks? No, no, no, I did not. No, not again. Never again.

SPEAKER_08 47:02

Told you last time. That's why it wasn't my first suggestion.

SPEAKER_10 47:07

Uh, and so you all, do you all agree to uh sorry?

SPEAKER_05 47:13

What was what was her name again?

SPEAKER_10 47:15

Um, I put it in the chat. Her name is Ephelion. Yep. Appelion. Oh, he's got a little bit of an accent. He's got a little bit of a Florida panhandle accent. Below it. You could just say Alabama. Just a touch no. They're different accents.

SPEAKER_01 47:38

Hey Teagan.

SPEAKER_05 47:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

We we got Qualo. I mean, at least one of us can move with some stealth.

SPEAKER_05 47:45

Uh I mean, I'm not too bad at staying quiet when one needs most.

SPEAKER_01 47:50

You good with this?

SPEAKER_05 47:52

Yeah. I mean I mean, maybe get a big tarp or something to throw over Tabby. She's a little conspicuous. Conspicuous. I'm not good with words.

SPEAKER_10 48:08

Okay. So you all agree to spy on a felon uh for Glamp Weasel. And with that, we're gonna end today's session. Oh woo!

SPEAKER_11 48:19

Yes, Qualo? I was just gonna say something, but we can end it. It's fine.

SPEAKER_07 48:25

It's fine.

SPEAKER_11 48:26

I as we walk out of the bar, I'm like, um You're not in the bar. We're in Scrippity's crap. You're in Glampweasel. As we walk out of the workshop, um, should should we ask him what he wants us to know about her?

SPEAKER_10 48:38

Yes. He wanted to know why uh what she's doing at the docks. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_11 48:44

Yeah. You did say that. I did. Alright, so we can just leave this whole part out.

SPEAKER_01 48:49

Glitch. As we as we walk out, Glitch says, one second. You see her scuttle over to uh a uh a barrel that's sort of near the door and gets on top of it and starts playing with some wires and then skitters off. And as you all continue to walk, you see the sign that says the neon sign that says scrippity scraps, the S's disappear and it just says Crippity Crap.

SPEAKER_10 49:23

Okay. And with that, a special thanks to Dairy to Press for creating Daggerheart, the awesome game we're playing, and to our incredible fans. Don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, five stars, that whole thing. It's the number one way to help our show. Clauses of the Crux is part of the Witch Key March universe. If you're interested in playing in any of the associated games, you can find them on startplaying.games. And we will see you next week.

SPEAKER_07 49:44

Next week.

SPEAKER_11 49:45

It's great to wake up smelling salami. Smelling salami.

SPEAKER_05 50:22

Old tabby four scoots. Right off into the junky sunset.